


make me to go nuts like cashews

by achilleees



Series: porn roommates AU [3]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Porn, Language Kink, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 13:59:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1187892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achilleees/pseuds/achilleees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valentine's Day with the porn roommates! Chuck gets Raleigh a cake. Raleigh gets Chuck a language kink.</p><p>Yancy gets scarred for life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	make me to go nuts like cashews

**Author's Note:**

> prompt on tumblr: "Oooh, pornstars au, if you're still taking prompts. Maybe raleigh is super fluent in French, and it makes chuck swoon? I don't know, I'm a sucker for the Romance languages..."
> 
> i was super busy yesterday so i didn't get this done until today. (also this really has very little to do with valentines day, so...) french translation by lady loki, cuz i have awesome followers who know awesome languages. and snack-size helped me plan, cuz she's my boo.
> 
> title from "me & u" by flo rida.

Yancy heard the fumbling of a key in the lock from inside, and thought about hiding and popping out from behind the door to see if he could get Chuck to make that hilarious squeaking noise again. He eventually determined that he was too comfortable where he was to be assed to move.

The door opened and two pairs of heavily booted footsteps clomped inside. “Hey darlin’, we’re home,” Chuck called.

“And hello to you too, sweetie-lumpkins,” Yancy said.

Chuck’s face was not amused when it appeared around the corner. “You really need to stop breaking into our house to woo our dog when we’re not here.”

Yancy looked down at the pile of golden retriever puppy in his lap and then back up at Chuck. “That is an outrageous claim.”

Chuck arched an eyebrow. “You denying it?”

“No,” Yancy said. “But it’s still outrageous.”

“Hey,” Raleigh said, appearing behind Chuck’s shoulder with a smile. “Want some cake?”

“Is that even a question?” Yancy said.

Raleigh set down a tray on the coffee table in front of Yancy. He squinted at it – it was half eaten, beige and rounded at the corners, and the chocolate sprinkles were oddly concentrated on one side…

He tilted his head the other way. “Raleigh,” he said. “Why are you carrying around a cake shaped like a penis?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” said Chuck, like that was in any way an answer.

Yancy looked at Raleigh, who was usually more cooperative about answering, if less concise. “Um, Stacker wanted us to exchange Valentine’s Day presents for a scene, and got kind of totalitarian when Chuck argued, so –“

“So,” Yancy agreed.

Raleigh laughed. “You should have seen it in its complete form. There were like, white icing curlicues decorating the one side, there.” He pointed, as if Yancy couldn’t guess where the white curlicues were coming out of.

Yancy nodded, swiping a finger through the icing on the top and sticking it in his mouth.

“And then there were white icing curlicues decorating Raleigh’s cock,” Chuck added.

Yancy spat beige frosting onto Danger, who looked up at him with an expression of utmost betrayal before jumping off his lap to go find someone who wouldn’t spray a slimy mixture of sugar and spit on her.

Chuck, of course, started laughing like a hyena.

“Christ, I didn’t like, rub my dick over the cake,” Raleigh said. He bent over and scratched Danger in her favorite spot, right at the base of her tail. “Yancy’s a mean man, isn’t he?” he cooed.

“Excuse me,” Yancy said, flipping him off. “I stuck around after eating all your leftover Pad Thai just to remind you to call Mom, and that’s the thanks I get?”

“Wow, that’s fucking – you’re as generous as you are good-looking,” Raleigh deadpanned.

“Yeah, well, we can’t all be porn stars,” Yancy said. “Call Mom, asshole.”

“Yeah,” Raleigh said, and went into the kitchen.

“Dish soap’s in the bathroom from Danger’s peanut butter adventures,” Chuck called.

Yancy looked at him and took a minute to parse this bizarre non sequitur. Then he smiled.

“He’s always been like that,” he said. “He used to dribble a soccer ball on his knees while talking on the phone until Mom convinced him to channel his fidgeting into washing the dishes. I guess she managed to program it into him.”

Chuck nodded. “Sometimes when the dishes have been piling up, I call him from uni with fake scheduling drama.”

Yancy shook his head and wondered if deviousness were a requirement to be a porn star, or if it was a coincidence that all the ones he knew happened to have it in spades.

Raleigh’s voice floated in from the kitchen. "Salut M'man," he said. "Joyeux Anniversaire! ...Non, c'est pas vrai. Enfin, si, mais j'allais t'appeller de toute façon. Si!...  Je te parie ce que tu veux que Jazmine ne t'a pas appellée non plus. ...Oui, d'accord il est trois heures du mat' là bas, ça veut rien dire.”

Yancy snorted. Yeah, Raleigh, real impressive, he thought. Kind of lowest common denominator there. He glanced at Chuck.

“You alright there?” he said. “You’re looking kind of flushed.”

Chuck looked at him, and his eyes were –

“Wow,” said Yancy, because, just, wow. “Are you always this easy?”

“I, uh, no?” Chuck said. His voice was hoarse.

“Wow,” Yancy said again. “You take every preconception I had about porn stars and just –” He mimed an explosion in the air.

“He speaks French!” Chuck said, and Raleigh chose that moment to laugh and say, "J'ai pleins d'écharpes, M'man."

Yancy watched Chuck’s throat work with morbid curiosity. “Yes?” he said. “Is this news?”

Chuck stared at him, eyes wild.

"Je mets déjà assez de violet, il va se foutre de moi," Raleigh said.

“Oh,” Yancy said. “And you’ve been dating him for –”

“He never said!” Chuck gestured – flailed, more like. A flush was working its way up his cheeks, highlighting his freckles, and Yancy set his chin on his hand and watched.

“I can’t decide if this is more embarrassing for you or for me,” he said, keeping his gaze locked on Chuck’s face because he was afraid what he would find if he looked down.

Chuck’s eyes looked a little glazed. “Adjective form for me, verb form for you,” he said.

"Je vais parfaitement bien dans mes pompes,” Raleigh said over the splash of water over a pan.

“I like that you’re cognizant enough to parse complex syntax in your head while practically coming in your pants at my brother speaking French to my mother over the phone, although I’ve gotta deduct points for you being totally wrong,” Yancy said. Well, probably. It didn’t sound right, although Yancy had gone to community college, so what did he know?

Chuck blinked at him. “Yeah, I got none of that,” he said, which made sense, because Raleigh had been talking at the same time and Chuck probably wouldn’t have paid attention if Yancy had been shouting his name in his ear.

Yancy sighed. “He’s talking about getting Danger spayed right now, it’s not especially sexy stuff.”

“I’m gonna stop even pretending to listen to you,” Chuck said.

Raleigh let out another stream of French, and Chuck shifted in his seat, and Yancy couldn’t decide if he should put a blanket over his own head, or over Chuck’s entire body. Then he realized that Raleigh was saying goodbye to their mother and relaxed, because _thank god_.

The sound of running water cut off and Raleigh walked into the living room. “She had some appointment or something, so – _hello_ ,” he said, eyes widening at Chuck’s glassy eyes and bitten lips. His gaze dropped down and a wicked smile curled his lips.

Then the proverbial light bulb seemed to come on, and he looked over at Yancy, frowning. “What the hell?” he said.

Yancy groaned. “Yeah, I was getting off your boyfriend while you were in the kitchen. I’m very sneaky and subtle like that.”

Raleigh gestured at Chuck, a question in the motion.

“Little buddy here appears to have a thing for you speaking French,” Yancy said. Raleigh’s gaze lit up, hot and bright, and Yancy groaned again. “Yeah, you’re welcome, I’m like the fairy godmother of sex. You can thank me later.”

Raleigh looked at Chuck, who grinned up at him and spread his legs a little. Immediately, Raleigh dropped to his knees between his thighs, leaning in so Chuck was bracketed in his arms.

"J'aurais aimé que tu me le dise plus tôt,” Raleigh said, and Chuck shivered violently.

Yancy shot to his feet. “Ok, going now, please keep it in your pants for like, two minutes?” He started gathering his things.

“Oh, Chéri, les choses que je vais te faire. Je vais te prendre, te baiser lentement, et je vais te parler jusqu'à ce que tu jouisse sans que je te touche," Raleigh purred, hand sliding between their bodies and moving in a way Yancy was trying not to think about.

Chuck actually _moaned_ , back arching. He looked utterly enraptured – like Raleigh had him under a spell, a marionette on a string.

“Jesus Christ, can this wait until the other fluent French speaker leaves the room?” Yancy grabbed his left boot and stuffed his foot inside without bothering with the laces.

"Tu vas me supplier - ou peut-être que je vais te bâillonner, te bander les yeux, t'attacher, pour que tu ne connaisses que ma voix." Raleigh said, low and sibilant, directly in Chuck’s ear. Not low enough, though, and yeah, he was definitely rubbing Chuck’s dick through his pants, and Chuck looked fucking _wrecked_.

Yancy didn’t bother with the second boot, just scooped it up with his jacket and ran for the door. “I fucking hate you assholes,” he called once he’d had it shut behind him.

"A plus, frangin,” Raleigh called, and then Chuck gave a cry of pure relief and Yancy really, really didn’t want to know.

He thought about it on the steps outside as he tied up his boots. There were a lot of things he didn’t want to know about his brother’s sex life, like, say, everything. And yet…

The perils of being related to a porn star, he supposed.

**Author's Note:**

> i have a [tumblr](http://achilleees.tumblr.com/) on which i post little ficlets that are too short for ao3, if you're interested.
> 
> translations [here](http://achilleees.tumblr.com/post/76775648005/english-translation-of-my-porn-roommates) although i think it's just as fun if you DON'T know because then you're living chuck's perspective, hahaha.


End file.
